Way to tell you watch too much Star Wars
by scottivan
Summary: Some are normal. Some are signs of being a serious star wars geek. Some are signs of insanity.


**There are many ways to tell if you watch too much Star Wars. Some good. Some bad.**

\- Talk backwards, like Master Jedi Yoda you do (Most annoying habit ever it is)  
\- You think that Jar Jar Binks and Watto would make a great couple  
\- You wonder if Darth Vader ever farted in his suit, and how does the smell escape  
\- You have nightmares of Jabba the Hutt wearing a thong bikini (Try to get that picture out of your head)  
\- You have a sudden urge to play soccer with BB-8 (Why resist?)  
\- You wonder how a bald wookiee would look (They are mostly fur and stomach with eyes)  
\- You start recording your own holocron (Lando was recording his at Kessel in Solo: A Star Wars Story)  
\- You can burp the entire Star Wars Theme by John Williams (Did that a long time ago)  
\- You spend hours arguing whether Han or Greedo shot first (who cares?)  
\- Your best friends are all dark lords (Lonely, you are. Life, you need)  
\- You are building a life-size Tie Fighter in your backyard (Did that a few years ago)  
\- You spend thousands of dollars on a star wars costume  
\- All your underwear have faces of Jedi Masters and Dark Lords on them  
\- You can name every sith lord in history, yet cannot name any of your local politicians  
\- You start watching Gungan porn (Boss Nass Done Me)  
\- You think that the fourth day of May should be a national holiday (May the 4th be with you)  
\- You name your child DARTH (Many years of therapy, need they will. Lots of money, cost it will)  
\- You think that Jar Jar Binks is a Sith Lord. (He's an idiot. You can't fix stupid)  
\- You built a life size, fully functional R2D2  
\- You can actually understand R2D2  
\- You wish a "happy life day" to everybody you meet  
\- You go on the Great Gungan Hunt (Similar to the Great Tribble Hunt of Klingon folklore)  
\- You take a 500 trillion dollar bank loan so you can build a full size, fully operational Death Star (Started construction June 2015)  
\- You plan to take a vacation to Korriban to tour the Valley of the Dark Lords (Already been there)  
\- You name your dog "Little Green" after Jedi Master Yoda  
\- You make a life sized Darth Vader out of mashed potatoes  
\- You carve the caves of Hoth out of a solid block of ice  
\- You memorize the lines of every character in every movie  
\- You start to look like Chewbacca, and it's not a costume (haircut, time it is)  
\- You start to grow a pair of lekku from your head (Part Twi'lek, be you must)  
\- Your back yard has a sarlacc pit  
\- You carry a real, working lightsaber with you at all times (Remember, they are NOT a toy)  
\- You wonder where the washrooms are on the Death Star (Everyone has to wear a diaper, just like Palpatine)  
\- You think you can choke people by pointing your hand at them and squeezing  
\- You have the Jedi Temple on speed dial  
\- Your therapist is a little green guy named Dr. Yoda  
\- You have a pet Gungan  
\- You have a Millennium Falcon birdbath in your front yard  
\- You give birth to a littler of Porgs  
\- You read, write and speak the sith language (I do)  
\- You dream of marrying Jabba the Hutt (Low standards you have)  
\- You mail letters to Darth Vader C/O the Death Star (I'm currently playing chess via mail with Lord Sidious)  
\- You list Supreme Leader Snoke as your next of kin  
\- You have a summer home on Mustafar, next to Lord Vader's castle (were you born on the sun?)  
\- You spend every minute of every day dressed as C3PO  
\- You buy some property on Coruscant (I purchased a nice, little 25 acre hobby farm)  
\- You plan to build your tomb on Korriban within the Valley of Dark Lords (Mine is between Marka Ragnos & Tulak Hord)  
\- You have the Kaminos make several thousand clones of Jar Jar Binks (Why? Are you insane?)  
\- You want to smash Jar Jar Binks skull in with a crowbar (My greatest desire)  
\- You move to Hoth (Like cold you must; ice cube will you soon be)  
\- You send email to Darth Krayt  
\- You refer to Jedi Grandmaster Yoda as "Little Green Dude"  
\- You refer to Darth Zannah as "Granny Z"  
\- Your archaeological dig on Volik uncovers the lost mask of Darth Nihilus (It was in a wooden crate in a crashed ship)  
\- You dwell too much upon the many inconsistencies of Star Wars. (How can Naga Sadow be buried on both Korriban and Yarvin 4?)  
\- You plan an expedition to climb Sessal Spire Volcano in southwestern Keshtah Minor, Kesh.  
\- You are making a wookiee fur pillow from real wookiee fur  
\- You legally change your name to Darth Nihilus (or any other Darth)  
\- You are slowly evolving into a Toydarian.  
\- You are sentenced to life in prison for smelling like a wookiee in public


End file.
